Some Jokes.

"Waiter!"
"Yes, sir."
"What's this?"
"It's bean soup, sir."
"No matter what it's been. What is it now?"

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"Do you love me, dear?"
"Dearly, sweetheart."
"Would you die for me?"
"No, my pet. Mine is an undying love."

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"My wife kisses me evenings when I get home."
"Affection?"
"No; investigation."

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"Did any of your family ever make a brilliant marriage?"
"Only my wife."

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"How is your little brother, Johnny?"
"Sick abed. He hurt himself."
"That's too bad. How did he do it?"
"We were playing who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won."

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A pretty little girl of seven entered a store in a small town and said:
"I want some cloth to make my dolly a dress."

The merchant selected a remnant and handed the child the package.

"How much is it?" she asked.
"Just one kiss," was the reply.
"All right," said the child, as she turned to go.
"Grandma said to tell you she would pay you when she came in tomorrow."

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Judge--"It seems to me that I have seen you before."
Prisoner--"You have, your Honor; I gave your daughter singing lessons."
Judge--"Thirty years."

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From 10,000 Jokes, Toasts and Stories